Tips for How to Get to Go to the Store

Going to the store is like going to Disneyland. Fun.

First of all you need to have your mom call you to get in the car. But if she doesn’t, you sneak in the back and stay on the floor of the car and make no noise. Mom is not suppose to see or hear you, otherwise she will have you out and she will give you no treat. When your mom gets in the store’s parking you victoriously can show up. Certain words, arguments, and an irritate voice may follow, but she will take you with her. She just can not lock you in the car with an open window. It’s against the law. But if she does that, you could bark and bark and she would take you with her in the end.

Then here you are, nice and well in your mom’s cart. If you see other dogs or cats or kids in their mom’s carts, you don’t bark or show your teeth. You just ignorrrre them. Then you squeal when the cart passes by certain items you would like to get: bacon, roast turkey, a ball, or a friend.

Sometimes that works. If your mom is in a hurry, don’t put too much pressure on her: cry only one time per isle or two isles, depending on how the fragile is the situation. When you get to the doughnuts window, don’t even try it. That never works.

If you have the urge to jump off the cart and play in the pet zone, restrain yourself. You can do that only if your mom is happy, smiling and in a good mood while she is talking in person with a friend she bumped in the store. But watch the signals: if she demands you back in the cart, get back in the cart and kiss her hand. That would make a great impression on her friend and certain words of appreciation about you will follow.

Talk to you later. I think mom is going to the store and I heard my name.

Or not.

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