When Divorce Shakes the House

download (2)Why it’s so hard?

This shout is bubbling up in the chest of many who suffer in their marriage. I wouldn’t touch this subject if I wouldn’t have been there. I wouldn’t bring it up just like that, but I have friends who suffer and don’t know where to turn to.

He says, ” she wants the divorce.”

She says, “he wants the divorce.”

He says ,”she has somebody else.”

She says, “he has somebody else.”

Some are in an abusing relationship.

The alienation between the two doesn’t fall down like a bomb, at least not most of the time. The separation starts well before somebody can see it. But the two can feel it. They know something is not right. And when something is not right today, tomorrow and the day after tomorrow, it has to be addressed.

Where can she go when he already closed all their bank accounts? What are the kids going to eat during the long time when the law would settle the financial issues? There are questions that need answers. There is heavy desperation. There are the nasty feelings of abandonment.

I’m not a marriage counselor, but women in difficulty come to talk to me.

We sit together and evaluate the broken pieces. Sometimes we just sob. And pray. Then we start to see what’s the next step. There are so many scenarios.

He left.

She left.

He is an alcoholic and destroying their marriage through violence and abuse.

She got sick. He packed his bags and moved in with his mistress.

His business prospered. He went to live the life of his dream.

Money, affairs, pride, abuse…They split the union.

Counseling can help restore a relationship if both want the restoration. I know people who made it. I know others who didn’t. I and my ex-husband were in counseling, but it didn’t work.

I want to bring up a few things that can help your relationship.

1. Depart from the bad influence. I knew a family who had to move to be far from one of the mother’s interference. Others had to put an end to a particular family friendship.

2. Kisses help. Kiss for no reason. He doesn’t need to deserve it. She doesn’t need to deserve it. I remember a man I admire, and he used to teach us this principle almost every single time.

3. Don’t wait for things to go from bad to worse until you ask for assistance. Revealing your pain can be hard, but better be hard now than latter. It’s easier to resuscitate somebody who fainted than somebody in clinical death.

4. If you believe in prayer, pray. Ask many to pray for you and with you.

No matter the outcome, don’t abandon hope.

Don’t want to die.

There is precious life ahead of you.

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