Meanwhile in Orange County, CA

images (11)No, I’m not in a “Fast and Furious” mode, I’m a mom of elementary kids.

It’s good that you don’t need to listen to our morning conversations, but our neighbors have no choice.

  1. You better get up of your bed when I say so because I just had my first coffee.
  2. No, I don’t know where you left your homework last night.
  3. Too bad that you forgot your new snickers on the lawn and the sprinklers went off. You’ll enjoy wearing the old ones.
  4. You and your brother can use the same sink to brush your teeth. And no, we don’t do it over the dishes in the kitchen sink. Since daddy is in the second bathroom and you know how peculiar he is to read the news while on toilet, we don’t disturb him. Men need to stay informed.
  5. Do I yell? No, that’s my voice when you don’t answer in the beginning.
  6. Cheerios it is. No, we are out of the cinnamon ones. You know how much your grandma likes them.
  7. It’s the last day for what? Let me talk to your father. “Darling, do we sign her up for her modeling class? No?” Dad said “no.” I know it’s frustrating, but you can join the reading club.
  8. Ready?
  9. I can’t find my phone.
  10. I found it.
  11. Buckle up. No, I didn’t bring your backpack.
  12. Who let the dog out?
  13. Darling, tell grandma the baby needs a bottle. Yes, I will take her to the doctor’s appointment after I drop the kids off. And yes, I’ll pick up your shirts from the cleaners.
  14. Hi, sis, I’m sorry I can’t talk right now. We are late for school, but I’ll call you later. He said what? Ah, men! Hold on, sis, and I’ll call you back in ten.
  15. Hey, you, in that red Honda! Move on! I usually don’t honk, but people can be so insensitive these days. Well, I didn’t know it’s Mary’s mom.
  16. You, guys, be good. I’ll miss you. (Not.)

(17. I’m a bad mother.)

  1. What? You told me it’s pajama day. No, I’m not bringing you new clothes. I’m sure everybody will love your Spiderman pattern.
  2. Starbucks, here I come. I wish they’d have a bed for moms. And a glass of wine.
  3. On the road again.
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