I turned into the parking lot, making my brakes screech. My small Toyota listened and left a trail of smoke before settling down one inch from the curb. I was glad I avoided some carts left in various parking spaces and the one settled in the middle of the road. When individuals are in a hurry, they can’t take care of little things, duh!
Came out of the car and puffed up my chest under the jacket. It was an involuntary move, just the way I used to do when I was 13 and tried to pass as boyish as I could. Men were respected.
I pushed on a side the cart that was blocking the road and took a deep breath. It was such a breath of freedom and some smoke from a cigarette a pall was smoking in his car.
I was glad I wore jeans. Hands in pockets and I rose my shoulders. It was a handsome feeling of being important.
This fella driving a truck cut my way to the sidewalk, but it was all right. He had to do what he had to do. A pick-up truck came from nowhere, randomly crossing a few lines of the parking spots and I greeted him, nodding my head. I bet he could tell I understood him. The guy had to get quicker on the main road, and yes, he had to cut in front of this poor Voltswagen. Who drives a Voltswagen in the men’s land?
Confident and driven, I hopped on the sidewalk, passed the area with the BBQs on sale, and stopped right before getting in the store. The pansies in the pots were in bloom.
Thinking straight is not a hundred percent norm while going through the flu. Burning eyes, chest congestion and the sweet feeling of fainting, are. Weird, but there are a few things still that caught my brain today.
1. My body’s strength is quite limited even though I gulp the anti-flu cocktails by gallon.
2. Some thoughts make me emotional and weeping. No, it’s not about thinking that I’m dying, because I’m not. Just the fact that I miss my children and my grandchildren, and my mother and my sister, and my friends… ( By the way, my children and grandchildren live close by.)
3. Tomorrow I should be better. I hope that, even though I learned that a few family members throw up since yesterday and they seem worse today.
4. Like they say, “Life is fragile. Handle it with prayers.”
That was a mother’s only advice at her daughter’s wedding.
As simple as that, the only quality I was looking for in a man was to be kind, to have a good heart. But I didn’t see well, even though my mother saw what was coming.
While being treated with brutality and cruelty, I found myself like a lost puppy that got in the hands of unthinkable.
I wanted to treat the other one with kindness, but I was operating in fear. Because I never knew when the hand that was supposed to care for me, would hurt me.
Why do I bring this up publicly after 20 years from the divorce? I think that every woman and every man need to know how to discern right from wrong.
Kindness is powerful.
Kindness is a good start when romantic love needs a boost.
Be kind to each other.
22 month old. She screams when I take her form the park, but she is so tired that she wants to sit in the stroller.
Home and getting her ready for a nap. She doesn’t show any resistance when I put her in her crib. I close the door and leave her sleep.
But she doesn’t sleep. She talks and plays by herself. After a while, she yells. I know that shout and go to pick her up and change her diaper.
She holds her nose between two fingers, a sign of the smelly stuff. No smell in the room, though. I get her in my arms and take her in the living room. The wet wipes are at hand. Well, I start changing her and I see her being strangely still, not playful like usual. Surprise! Clean diaper. I look at her and she avoids my eye.
“You are not dirty,” I say with a serious face.
She stares at the wall beyond me. No move, but her little eyelids fluttering from time to time.
She knows that I know.
I see her and I make a small motion with my head, a sign only between us. She understands. She looks at her parents. They are busy taking a seat around the table in the restaurant. Her little brother asks for raisins. So, she gets next to me in the booth, and waits.
I lean towards her, covering my mouth.
“I have to tell you a secret.”
She freezes with the children’s menu in her hand. Barely can speak.
I take a deep breath. She needs to know.
” There are two dead spiders on the carpet where we live.”
The surprise is overwhelming, but she manages it well.
“Where?” She is biting her lip, making a plan.
” On the hallway to the first bathroom.”
“Buni, don’t do anything. I need to see them.”
The dead insects are still there until she comes.
I thought I would die. I wrote down what was going on and then I found myself with this book in my hand. I thought there were only questions, but ah, there were miraculous answers.They were NOT my ideas. What happened and how did they come out?
This is what a reader writes about it:
“…what she has to say is extremely important and could be life saving for many people.
She covers so much of God’s wisdom about what HE wants us to do about cancer and diseases that I recommend this book to everyone alive right now and future generations as well.”
Check out the link below for Amazon.com –
The Super Bowl just ended and, even though I didn’t grow up with Football in Europe, this game made me reflect on some stuff. I celebrated with the winners and I was sorry for those who lost. The celebrities are celebrities today, but in 10, 20, 30 years they are gone. Those who were defeated may not recover well from their suffering.
One move, one jump – they make the difference between joy and sadness today.
Life goes on. Victory or defeat – they are for a while. We honor the players, we remember those who are gone and hope that maybe somebody would remember us.
Let’s leave something good before we check out.
#superbowl50 #broncos #panthers #peytonmanning #football