Why – Fear, Soul Wounds and Cancer

“Meanwhile, something weird happened to me. When taking a shower before going to see my friend, I felt something unusual under my right arm. It was a lump. I pressed it and tried to feel its dimension. It was the size of a cherry kernel. I started to keep Swedish Bitter on it and cabbage leaf. It didn’t decrease in its measure and it didn’t grow larger for a while.

 

My friend passed away on February 2013. I was so sadden. I missed her every single day. My office called me and told me to take as many days off as I needed to mourn. In an effort to comfort me, one of my sons bought me a plane ticket and sent me to Romania. I stayed there with my family for almost three months.

That was a good change. I didn’t pay attention to the lump under my arm, I didn’t talk about it, I only prayed over it. After finishing up some business I had in my birth country, I was ready to come back home to the US. By that time, there were three lumps under my armpit. I took a blood test in Romania. The test came with an indicator for infection. I took antibiotics and flew back over the Atlantic. That was the month of June 2013.

 

3.

FEAR, SOUL WOUNDS AND CANCER

 

After spending three months with friends and family in Romania, I came back to the US. This was my new life, my reality. As a single mother for many years, with adult children who had their own lives now, I was feeling pretty alone.

My body was tired most of the time. One day I mentioned to my children about what was going on with me, trying to keep it as light as possible. They wanted to take me to the doctor, but I refused. I didn’t want them to go into debt for me. I trusted God and I was ready for anything.

 

Weeks went by, and I chose to go through this heaviness pretty isolated. The lumps didn’t hurt and I kept myself busy by writing children’s books. I wanted to write as much as possible. I continued working on my books and writing projects with the hope of leaving something of quality and worth behind. I was preparing for the worst.           These kinds of thoughts may come across as over the edge, but my life was that way. With the help of a few friends, I self-published my first book at the end of July 2013 and that brought me great joy. It was a precious confirmation that I started to make progress, in spite of the language and cultural barrier. My youngest son encouraged me not to take another client for the rest of the year and focus on my new career. He worked extra shifts only to keep

me at home to recover and write. At that point I put on hold my job with the elders and continued to write, self-illustrate and self-publish on Amazon and Kindle at a fast rate. I kept my expenses at a minimum. My youngest son’s help along with my other children’s gifts now and then eased my life in the process of writing. It was a time of great proliferation. I was writing and drawing long hours every day and I felt my wings growing. ”

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