Why – Three lumps plus one

“Meanwhile, the three lumps under my arm were still there, and another little mass grew on my abdomen. I kept covering them with Swedish Bitter and cabbage leaves. The mass on my stomach disappeared after 2-3 months, but those under my arm didn’t vanish.

Taking showers and feeling the mass growing was frightening. But I didn’t want to talk about what was going on and I went on with my life the way it was. When I was feeling too tired, my body was just lingering on the bed and waiting to get some rest. After that, I would continue to write. Now when I look back, I see that writing was an engine from the Lord to keep me moving on and give me a sense of purpose.

God’s humor was so unique to call me into a field where I was far from being perfect since English was my second language.


When I shared that “the Lord called me to write books in English,” I was told that I should work what other people work and keep the writing as a hobby. That could have been a wise advice for many, but I knew I was called to do more than that.


I stumbled over this quote, “Follow your dreams. Or you’ll spend the rest of your life working for someone who did.”(1) What a statement! I knew I was doing what I was called to do.


Since I was young I had two passions: writing and teaching. I was an elementary and junior high teacher for many years and had already published a few books. My careers didn’t pay much at that time and that’s why so many can’t afford to follow their passion like this. It involves somebody else’s help, and leaning on God and not on your own performances while you have to pay your rent and bills. It involves wisdom, timing and the assurance that you do what you are called to do. I had no idea why I wasn’t called to fit in a common box, because that would have been easy, instead of standing against the norm, like others said.



Some considered that trying to make a living as an author was too out of the line, and that was why I had to conform to society’s norm the way everybody else did. That expectation was

pretty confusing for me because, growing up in a communist country, I was punished for using my gifts and talents. That society didn’t even let me finish my education during the regime.


Now when I look back, I really believe that when some people tell you that you can’t do something and that you would not make it, they are actually afraid that you would indeed make it.”

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out /  Change )

Google photo

You are commenting using your Google account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )

Connecting to %s