Why – Fear, Soul Wounds and Cancer

“Meanwhile, something weird happened to me. When taking a shower before going to see my friend, I felt something unusual under my right arm. It was a lump. I pressed it and tried to feel its dimension. It was the size of a cherry kernel. I started to keep Swedish Bitter on it and cabbage leaf. It didn’t decrease in its measure and it didn’t grow larger for a while.


My friend passed away on February 2013. I was so sadden. I missed her every single day. My office called me and told me to take as many days off as I needed to mourn. In an effort to comfort me, one of my sons bought me a plane ticket and sent me to Romania. I stayed there with my family for almost three months.

That was a good change. I didn’t pay attention to the lump under my arm, I didn’t talk about it, I only prayed over it. After finishing up some business I had in my birth country, I was ready to come back home to the US. By that time, there were three lumps under my armpit. I took a blood test in Romania. The test came with an indicator for infection. I took antibiotics and flew back over the Atlantic. That was the month of June 2013.





After spending three months with friends and family in Romania, I came back to the US. This was my new life, my reality. As a single mother for many years, with adult children who had their own lives now, I was feeling pretty alone.

My body was tired most of the time. One day I mentioned to my children about what was going on with me, trying to keep it as light as possible. They wanted to take me to the doctor, but I refused. I didn’t want them to go into debt for me. I trusted God and I was ready for anything.


Weeks went by, and I chose to go through this heaviness pretty isolated. The lumps didn’t hurt and I kept myself busy by writing children’s books. I wanted to write as much as possible. I continued working on my books and writing projects with the hope of leaving something of quality and worth behind. I was preparing for the worst.           These kinds of thoughts may come across as over the edge, but my life was that way. With the help of a few friends, I self-published my first book at the end of July 2013 and that brought me great joy. It was a precious confirmation that I started to make progress, in spite of the language and cultural barrier. My youngest son encouraged me not to take another client for the rest of the year and focus on my new career. He worked extra shifts only to keep

me at home to recover and write. At that point I put on hold my job with the elders and continued to write, self-illustrate and self-publish on Amazon and Kindle at a fast rate. I kept my expenses at a minimum. My youngest son’s help along with my other children’s gifts now and then eased my life in the process of writing. It was a time of great proliferation. I was writing and drawing long hours every day and I felt my wings growing. ”


Why – Going Through the Unknown

“At this point, after quitting my job at the bank, I was looking to change business fields. I had already started writing books in English, my second language, and wanted to turn it into a writing career in the US.

Before that, in Romania, I had several volumes published by traditional publishing houses. Writing books was my passion along with teaching.

Now I needed a part-time job with flexible hours, a job where I would interact with people. One day I found out about a company that helped elderly clients with their appointments and everyday tasks. They hired me and after a few weeks of helping an elderly couple with their appointments, the office called me on my phone.

“We have a new client who asks for a Christian caregiver. We told her and her daughter about you.”

The elderly lady and her family had prayed before God for the right person who would come to help them. The office introduced us to each other and that was the beginning of a precious friendship between this sweet eighty-year-old lady and her dear family and I.

My new friend had had breast cancer and it was in remission for a few years, but it eventually came back. I remember taking her to the doctors’ appointments. They scheduled chemotherapy after a while. We went there. Everything was well during the procedure, but when my friend got home, she felt that the technique was too hard on her body and she didn’t want to do it anymore.

Her family looked for alternative procedures. They talked to doctors, friends and prayed consistently and they decided to have their mother on Vitamin C infusions, along with the ‘oxygen chamber’ technique and other non-invading practices.

My dear friend’s schedule was pretty busy with these procedures and we became regulars at the medical offices. Everybody knew us there. We laughed a lot and kept our spirits high. But after a few months – it was during the fall of 2012 – the cancer began to spread in her body. My friend’s strength was fading away to the point that she wasn’t able to do her treatments anymore.”


TWO- ‘ “My father in Romania passed away unexpectedly that spring in 2012. The news saddened me deeply. He was the man who encouraged me all my life. I flew over the Atlantic for his funeral and I had cabbage leaves in a baggy to use during my stay. By the end of the three weeks with my mother, the mass on my thigh

was gone. Before leaving my birth city, I paid to do some blood tests at a lab and it showed there was some infection. I didn’t see a doctor. After talking to a pharmacist, I asked for antibiotics. I took them and that was it.

I’ll come back with more details, but after a few more months, I found myself with a mass under my arm.

After reading medical articles and the results of a number of scientists in this area of study, this is what I found out. The increasing level of stress and other factors developed the lumps in my body.

“Stress fuels cancer spread by triggering master gene.” This article was published in the Journal of Clinical Investigation. “Stress could be the unifying theme in cancer spread. Previous studies have shown that stress is a risk factor for cancer, and for example that, psychological stress is linked to breast cancer aggressiveness.” (1)

If you, dear ladies, want to know how to search for lumps in your breasts, I found that there are three ways you can do it.

  1. When you take a shower and wash your upper part, feel with your fingers if there are any abnormalities.
  2. In front of a mirror – look for any modification in size and color of the breasts.
  3. When you lay down on your back, search with your hand for any hard mass in your breasts or under your arms.

If you find something, make an appointment with your doctor. Be also aware if there is any liquid coming from your nipples. (2)


Stress, worry, fear, anxiety, they have the potential to pollute the human body. After years of observation, a doctor in Alba Iulia, Romania, who helps patients fight against cancer, stated that, “The main factor that leads to cancer is stress.” ‘

Our Brain Listens

I remembered a song one of my dear friends was clinging to for a while last year, “Tell Your Heart to Beat Again.” The title says it all.
A doctor I respect and admire, Dr. Caroline Leaf, a cognitive neuroscientist with a PhD in Communication Pathology specialized in Neuropsychology, encourages her patients to speak to their brain. That action is full of power when associated with faith in the Creator, the One who created it.
Our brain will follow our command.
I’ve learned that every time when we say statements about ourselves, our brain cells listen and follow.
“I can’t do this.”
“They will hire somebody else anyway.”
“What to expect from my body after 60 years?”
“That sickness runs in our family and I will get it,” and so on.
Our brain cells will start working to put in practice what we think.
In the same way, don’t agree when other people speak words of discouragement over you.
“You will never change.”
“Nobody is able to do that.”
“Your career is over.”
Words of declaration are powerful. Your brain will believe them. Use them to water others and bring life to them. Their brain listens as well.
CHECK OUT “Cancer, You Have to Go” by Rodica Iova

One Unusual Day


The house is getting ready for a birthday party. A surprise party. I was surprised to hear about the preparations because I had no idea whose birthday was. I hear the party is going to be in the backyard, with balloons, cake and everything. Our first grader is busy-busy making invitation at the kitchen table. I don’t want to intrude, and I ask for details a little bit shy.
“It is my guinea pig’s birthday,” she says.
I look at her mother and whisper, “She doesn’t have a guinea pig.” The mother nods her head. “She has one.” I look around to spot the celebrity. “It is my pet we played with last night,” she explains. Ah! I remembered the furry toy we were squeezing to make its bum move.
I get an invitation on the spot. Such an honor.
“What’s his name again?”
No answer. We look at each other, the first grader, the toddler and I. Nobody remembers.
Then mama comes back to the room.
“His name is Lenny.”
Such a relief! The toddler starts playing with his play-dough. His sister makes yellow stars on a big birthday announcement.
Let’s the party begin. Happy Birthday, Lenny!

JUST IN: The party was wonderful. It started in the backyard with balloons and fun on the slide while I was taking a nap. Then it moved in the house. Candles, one balloon, and a nice Polish chocolate and honey cake. We sang “Happy Birthday, Lenny!” Our celebrity was totally surprised by such event in his honor and couldn’t say a word. Mom served chicken soup as well. It was only one minor incident when the toddler tried to get more cake from the plates of two guests. But mama handled it with grace, and nobody cried.

When Tired


Sometimes when you are too tired, it’s like finding yourself in a deep well, and trying hard to get out of there. But your body might not be able to come out right away, because it needs time to recuperate.

Raw Materials

I was talking to one of my sons about an unexpected miracle he experienced at work, when this came to my heart:
When we pray to God, most of the times He will match His answer with the raw materials – faith, trust, doubts, worries, etc- we operate in our daily life.
Our routine faith will bring His intervention to the level we trust in Him. When we feed our trust in Him daily, to make it grow, our life develops stronger faith, an unmovable determination in partnering with Him to do exceedingly more than we need or dream.
Fear, doubts, worries or anything like these would limit His intervention in us. He would work using the raw materials we offer.
Ultimately, there is nothing that can limit His power and miracles in our lives, but us.
I remember this lady I know personally, whose children were sick. She prayed something like this, “Lord, heal my children. Make any sickness that might come upon them come on me.” As you see, she started her prayer in faith. But then she settled for something weird. Her children grew up healthy, while she was sick all her life.
Learn to push your faith to grow. Don’s settle for less. Ask for great things. Invest your life to be friends with God, as Abraham was. That’s where every good thing comes from, from that relationship.
“Every good gift and every perfect gift is from above, and comes down from the Father of lights, with whom there is no variation or shadow of turning.” James 1:17